monday dental drama

well, as you all know from my posts sa peysbuk.. i've been battling a terrible toothache for on and off 3 months na ata.. i finally decided to go to the dentist last week to get it all sorted out and turned out that i needed a filling.. so there! but putaena mga pare, after nya gawin mas naging worse ang saket!! 4 days after: ROOT CANAL!

nakakalerkey talaga yung sakit even after the 2 shots of local anaesthesia. naiyak nako!! wth??

para akong bata kase i was thinking na twas so scary, and i was all.. ALONE.

i had to leave the clinic at dusk, with some drizzle outside, feelin' all cold and had to take a long walk home (approximately 25 minutes).. then as i was walking umandar na naman ang pagka-emo ko (a.k.a pagkapraning)..

then naisip ko rin ang rapid turn around ng image ko from boring college student to... party animal??

(KONEK: ekai's post FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE)

tomador. petix. yan na ko ngaun. (or at least yan ang interpretation sakin ng mga frends ko after college).. oh well, these people seldom take me seriously. panay daw kase ako biro. actually, dinadaan ko lang naman kase sa tawa yung mga bagay2 paminsan, defense mechanism ba!! and come to think of it, i never had a 'real boyfriend' since college. i'm beginning to think that my being 'petix' is repelling a serious romantic relationship.

. . .

gusto ko lang naman may kasama na ako ulit magsimba,

na tumambay sa starbux habang nagppeople-watching,

mag window shopping,

makausap habang break ko.. or break nya..

or just someone to cry to when shit happens.

kusinero at yaya

ngluto ako ng beef steak at adobo last week. ngaun lasagna nmn.

masarap dn pla magluto. well, swerte ng girl na nkahuli sa akin!

meron n syang all-around boy. matuto lng ako mg drive ng right hand drive car wala n syang hahanapin pa. san ka makakakita ngaun ng mabait, mapagpasensya, maunawain, matalinom, funny, marunong magluto, naglilinis ng bahay at naglalaba na pogi, matipuno at yummy na boy!

For Once In Your Life

May mga bagay na gusto kong gawin kahit isang beses lang sa ipinagkaluob sakin ni Lord na buhay. Average lifespan today is what? 65 years? 70 if you get lucky? Sa edad natin ngayon, pretty much alam mo na kung anong klase ka ng tao. Good girl ka ba? Good girl na may kulo? Pasaway? Wei wu Wei? Control freak? Loser?Acheiever?

Once na na categorize ka na, mahirap na i-divert ang buhay mo. Example: pag nabuntis ka out of wedlock, na hindi pa natatapos ang pag-aaral, kahit ano pang encouragement ang sabihin ng ibang tao sayo, inilalagay ka pa rin nila sa category: sinayang ang buhay.malandi. parang NANDA lang. hehe.

personally.. sa tingin ko lang naman, nacategorize ako sa good girl: 97% of the time. ibig sabihin lahat ng tao ineexpect ako na magdesisyon ng tama. magtapos ng pag aaral, makapasa sa mga exam, sumunod sa curfew, magkaroon ng maayos na trabaho,hindi magdroga, hindi maging pakawalang babae, maging loyal, responsible at mangarap ng mataas.

hanggang dun na lang ba? should we be confined to what society thinks of us?

these past few days, i have been thinking of a alot of things. most of the time i do live up to expectations, pero MINSAN talaga gusto ko lang maging parang EWAN. the other night, i went drinking until 2am in the morning. napakaunlikely sakin dahil hindi naman ako malakas uminom, saka tulog na ako by 9pm.

nagalit si Chito kasi sa kung ano anong etchos. umaga na daw ako umuwi, lasing daw ako.. etc etc.. to tell the truth, i really didnt care. i had fun. i felt like i was ALIVE and not confined by so many many rules of behavior.

i was never a party girl. but i want to experience being one. kahit 1 gabi lang. alam nyo yun? yung talagang EFFORT ang hair and makeup. contodo porma with 4 inch heels. bar hopping hanggang endorsement na pala ng 6am.

Sobrang babaw lang.. pero kahit mga OC-OC na, manang pa.. may karapatan ring mangarap. hehe.